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Dear Alana, My sweet girl. I started writing another blog to put out for the one-year mark of losing you. (I hate the word anniversary. Anniversary is a word that sounds like something you should be celebrating). This blog was a letter to Sarah from a year ago. Warning myself of all the things to come. I got part way through it and realized that it just felt wrong. What I truly wanted to do was to write to you. I know that I write a letter to you every night, but I wanted t

Today, you should be sixteen. I knew this birthday was coming. But knowing it was coming and actually waking up to it are two different things. It has only been a year since we celebrated your last birthday with you. A year since birthdays were something we got to plan with you instead of something we now have to figure out how to get through without you. Sixteen was supposed to be a big one. We should be celebrating with you today. We should be watching you become more indep

Here's a glimpse at all the behind the scenes work that went into creating our nonprofit and Alana's scholarship

There are some moments in life that we will never forget. Try as I might, I will never forget the moment when Alana started to struggle to breathe. When I thought she was just having a panic attack. I will never forget watching her take her last breath, or when her heart stopped under my fingers. I cannot unhear the moment when the doctor called the time of death. Every single one of those moments will stay with me for the rest of my life. But there is another moment, just da

Most fathers are wired to fix things. It’s part instinct, part expectation. When something breaks, we grab our tools. When something goes wrong, we look for a solution. When someone we love is hurting, we instinctively try to step in and make it better. It’s not just a habit. It’s an identity shaped not only by our parents, but by society at large. Protection and problem-solving are part of how many of us understand our role in the world. We believe that if we are present, if

Ways to support grieving teens, who lost a friend

Coming to terms with the reality that it is okay to struggle following the loss of a loved one.

Love and grief are inevitably tied together. When we love deeply our grief will be equal, if not more, to the depth of our love.

Loss can create a feeling of being stuck. This explores relearning how to live life.

I manage projects with complex robotic systems for a living. No matter the brand, type, or function of a machine, there is a manual. There is no manual for losing a child. No step-by-step guide, no checklist, no timeline for when things are supposed to feel “normal” again. When Alana died, the world didn’t just change, it stopped making sense. Grief is strange like that. It’s loud and silent at the same time. Some days you feel like Atlas. The Greek titan cursed to carry a